Insanity For The Crazy
by Lady of the Lillypadz
Summary: So they were twins. So they were American. So they weren't mentally stable. Your point is? Your argument is invalid. OC(S)x?
1. Chapter 1

Why did schools always have to serve crap? Honestly, Val couldn't even decipher if the green mush was chunks of broccoli or a hacked turtle. Although at this point it didn't matter since Cataline was shoveling her and her sister's lunches down her throat.

"Why do we have to live in such a boring place?" Valentine, one of the Fisher twins, complained a frown on settled on her lips stabbing and prodding the unappetizing pile of food furiously with her spork.

Andy, an outgoing jock with a brown buzz cut snorted, "You live in Los Angeles! There are strippers literally crawling _everywhere_! And your still unentertained? Jeesh woman so picky." Andy chomped on his grub.

"Yeah pretty much," The two ashy blonde-haired replicas responded their stoicism clear on their bored faces.

Valentine and Cateline are identical twins. If they weren't the world would have been like 93.89722476% less sexier. No that was a lie, on the contrary they were quite plain-looking. They both had pale, lifeless, tangled blonde hair that settled between their shoulder blades and could have been easily mistaken as a white shade. Their azure orbs were usually bored and slanted with disinterest, unless they were sparked with mischief which let a devious grin split onto their usually monotonous faces. It's not like you could actually see their eyes though, they were shielded and shied away underneath their troublesome and attention seeking front bangs. Oh and don't get the two started on their skin color. Apparently everyone who attended Whitney High was the stereotypical Californian with their tan kissed by the blazing sun, and bleached volume full hair. _But then there was those two. _They had ivory skin; the Fishers were the definition of white. They even admitted in revolt that they were related to the gay sparkling Edward Cullen.

"Stop speaking at the same time," Erica chastised patting down her hair sprayed head and discreetly holding hands with Andy, her boyfriend. Adding in bluntly, "_It's creepy_."

The two identical girls shrugged at each other and started elbowing each other in the ribcage earning yelps from each other, "It's not like we plan this or something." They replied in sync sticking their tongues out at the irritated girl.

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The days were just dragging on and on. Cat obnoxiously smacked her mint Trident gum eyeing the agonizingly slow clock that mocked her. Only eight minutes and class was dismissed for winter break. It sucks ass that California doesn't have snow. Mother nature is a bitch who Cat wants to fight one day and throw reptiles at her or something. Why mother nature why?!

Their teacher, Ms. Jackson averted her attention towards the day-dreaming Val, "Valentine Fisher! What's the answer to this particular question?" The anorexic, bespectacled, wrinkly, blonde-headed teacher thrusted her manicured finger at the complex expression using variables, exponents, integers, and other thinks that made the other twin's brain melt into goop.

Letting out an exasperated sigh and looking away dramatically reacting as if Valentine stared at it too long it would burn her eyes. The older twin by two seconds exhaled loudly, "How the hell am I supposed to know?" Math was never Valentine's subject. Who am I kidding? She and her meddlesome sister didn't have a subject they excelled in or enjoyed. Failures for life and their proud!

"Maybe if you actually paid attention for once in your life!" Ms. Jackson snapped, her beady black eyes narrowed. She applied pressure to the Expo marker on the white board marking a small dot against its surface.

Valentine mumbled in annoyance, "Maybe if you could actually teach." The girl grunted pressing her pencil harder onto the doodle filled paper laying on her desk. The led cracked and rolled around and off the desk.

"What was that?" The adult venomously urged daring her to speak up.

Cat stood up picking at her black nails innocently repeating the fact and sticking up for her sister who scoffed, "I believe she said: _"Maybe if you can actually teach_._" _I agree. I mean do you even _know _what you're trying to teach. Your just writing random shit and telling us to copy it down, you know I got better stuff to do."

Snarling and banging her palms against the twin's desks that were covered in ink and drawings of bizarre things causing a chorus of _'Ooohs' _ from their peers who whipped out their flip phones to record it. "Are you guys telling me how to do **my **job?!"

"Yeah pretty much. You kinda suck at your job you know?" They bluntly insulted drawing crappy stick figures all over their notebooks instead of actually copying the notes written on the board provoking her even more. The class erupted into guffaws, except the fuming teacher. "I mean if you actually stopped stuffing your B cup bra with tissues during class then we might learn a thing or two, but meh what do we know?"

"Office. **Now.**" Ms. Jackson flushed pointing a trembling finger at the burgundy door.

"Sure, sure." The freshmen carelessly waved off exiting the snickering classroom with their belongings.

"Man she's a pain in the ass," Val scowled running a sluggish hand through her front bangs that longed for a trim.

Cat snickered nudging her playfully in the ribs, "Maybe it was her time of month. Oh wait she looks like a dude. Do guys have man periods? Or maybe we were just too sexy for her?" Val laughed shoving her elbow into her sister's ribcage.

"Stop nudging me man!" Val complained shoving her elbow into Cat's side who whimpered.

"That's it bitch your going down!" Cat playfully growled launching herself on her sister's back. Val collapsed onto the dust-covered floor grunting underneath the 120 pounds of Cat seated on her spine.

Twitching underneath her younger replica she whimpered, "Get your fat ass off man! I swear if I get a hunch back and people think I'm an old woman that's like 58 or something I'll make you my grandpa husband and dress you up as one of my many cats."

"Never!" Cat manically laughed to herself rubbing her hands together and putting more weight on the suffocating girl. "I am forever THE GRANDPA OF CATS!"

Valentine crawled from underneath the obese sister of hers and glared, "Your forever an idiot. But don't you worry I'll get my revenge." She walked backwards through the hall keeping an eye on her devilish sibling. Their converse slapped against the unpolished hallways.

"Can't touch this danaananaan! Can't touch this!" Cat grinned a lopsided smile shaking her ass at her enraged older sister that crashed. Looking up Valarie noticed the Principle's office.

"Hold on," The twins turned paler than usual. They turned and looked at each other mortified at what lurked behind the eerie door. "If we got called to the principal's office ...that means they called mom and dad!" Pushing open the door together hesitantly their wide eyes roamed the room.

It looked like the usual the last 53 times they were called in. Unnecessary mammoth desk with a name tag that stated it was Mr. White's desk, scattered papers some looking official others sloppily graded, geographical maps thumb-tacked to the alabaster wall, and a cliché family photo of his son and wife on the asymmetrical desk. If Death the Kid was here he would have murdered the scrawny, middle-aged, greying, tie tousled, manically scattered hair known as Mr. White. He smiled broadly at the recognizable problematic twins and gestured at the unoccupied chairs. Their parents seated across in the plush leather ones.

"Thanks for running here," The principal sarcastically mocked with a knowing grin. He saw them wrestle from the opened blinds and casually stroll around the campus delaying themselves.

Giving him their lopsided smirks they flashed their signature peace signs, "Your welcome, you must feel very lucky we took time from our busy schedules to come here, you know?" They teased, but stopped once they took note of their parents.

Mrs. Fisher, her pixie cut honey bob was mangled in different directions. She clearly ran here once she got the phone call telling her that her daughters were in trouble..._again_. Those two were constantly lounging in this office due to their defiant attitudes. Their mom was still in her sleeping attire consisting of ridiculous looking bunny slippers, and a tank top and matching pajama bottom.

Mr. Fisher, who had a young face like his wife, had untidy caramel boyish cut. His turquoise eyes that matched Mrs. Fisher's were wide and glued onto the two sheepish girls. They couldn't tell if he was disappointed or not because of the doctor's mask strapped over his face. He practically excused himself in the middle of a surgery and dashed out in navy blue gown and medical white gloves.

"5, 4, 3, 2," The same looking girls counted off their fingers. Their heads already feeling the oncoming migraine. "1."

"_Why are my precious innocent daughters being held captive here?!_" Mrs. Fisher demanded a crazed look in her gleaming turquoise silts.

The principal laughed goofily, "They got in trouble..._again_."

The father gasped, his hand grasping his chest, "_Nonsense! My little angels can **never **get in trouble!" _

Valentine and Cataline dragged out an exaggerated sigh while the trio continued bickering, "They released sleeping gas in the school's venting system knocking all the students out." The principle sweat-dropped countering their praise.

"_Ah they're so thoughtful honey!" _Mr. Fisher concluded to his wife who nodded in agreement.

The two girls got even paler if that was possible, "I know suddenly noticing how tired their friends looked and giving them a well deserved nap time."

"I would rather move to Japan than stay here any longer," Val deadpanned to her sister who conversed behind the buzz of the adult's argument.

Cat nodded in understanding, "I know."

The eaves dropping parents looked at the two, "You want to go to Japan? Alright, let's pack!" They announced dragging the two irritated daughter's home.

"Wai-" Mr. White was cut off by the slam of the door.

"We didn't mean it literally!" Val and Cat complained squirming from the lunatic's grasp.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to anyone who reviewed, faved, and added it to their alert thingies :o!**

* * *

**Valentine's P.O.V**

"So that's why you **must **live in your step-aunt's, although it pains us so! I suppose we just get too distracted from work with your cuteness so we'll just allow you to stay here for a while attending the school she enrolls you in," Our parents explained in tears driving off in the mini van.

I turned and looked at Cat who returned my exasperated expression, "What just happened?"

"How am I supposed to know? I'm still wondering what that green stuff I ate yesterday was." Cat moaned clutching her abdomen in agony, "Whatever it was it wasn't edible."

I laughed at her, "No shit, Sherlock." Thunderous foot steps approached us and we glimpsed at out Aunt Jennifer. Honestly you couldn't miss the woman with her stunningly styled jet black hair that was pulled into a sloppy bun and wide brown eyes.

"Awwwww, my little nieces look so adorable!" She squealed glomping our stiff frames. Pulling on my cheek and experimenting how far the blubber can stretch causing my face to sting she giggled trotting off in heels, "There is just no way I could let you two troublemakers blow up my house!"

We deadpanned. "Where do you expect us to stay then? We can't exactly walk all the way home?" Me and Cat pointed out in our fluent English.

Tossing us a set of jingling keys and entering an awaiting limousine, "It's a cozy little apartment! Just in the commoners side a couple blocks away from Ouran Academy the school your going to attend."

"Your crazy. We don't do Academies!" Cat complained shaking her fist at the insane relative. Us in Academies are like water and oil, or eggshells in cake batter. You can try putting them in the bowl, hard and crunchy, but it just won't taste good.

Waving while the car's engine started up she said, "Not my problem." And drove off leaving us stranded. In Japan. Only knowing how to speak English and minor Japanese words we picked off subbed anime shows.

"Why do we have to be related to lunatics? " I groan retying my converse for the eight time today. The laces were just uncooperative. "Come on you damn axolotl!"

Cat stared at me blankly. "Axolotl...that's a lizard." I walked ahead stuffing the nerve-wracking dangling laces into the shoes.

"Your point is?" I rose an eyebrow walking past luxurious mansions lined with black gates.

"I like reptiles." Cat suggestively said kicking a pebble strewn across the side-walk. "Give me a piggy-back ride!" She exclaimed throwing herself at my still injured back.

How much does this woman eat?! Honestly she needs to cut down on those Pringles. My spine cracked with pain while I trudged us towards the "commoner" part of town. It was really peaceful looking...I will kind of feel bad if somehow Cat ends up nuking it. Dragging me and my mirror image towards the row of apartments she pointed in triumph at the number engraved on our three spare keys. 268.

"Man why couldn't we get 269?" My mirror image whined. "The walk was so far and we get the worst apartment number!"

My eyebrow twitched and I dropped her carelessly onto the straw 'Welcome' mat. She rubbed her bruised butt and I thrust one of the many keys into the lock. Turning it to hear a sickening snap I tugged the key out to see the rusted piece of junk halfway broken. "Aunt just loves us."

"She does I thought she hated us," Cat blandly sweat-dropped. I used a brand new key this time it unlocked without having much difficulty. We entered and examined the room. It was simple. Not that we minded. Okay we kind of minded. Aunt is filthy rich and had to act like a cheap skate when it came to us. She would spend $200 on a Keratin Treatment for her already nourished hair, but she won't spare a few bucks toward us.

The apartment 268 had a bedroom with oak twin beds separated by a small nightstand with a small lava lamp on it. The twin beds had scrawny blankets neatly covering them and two matching pillows. Across from the miniature beds were a dresser. Did she expect me and my sister to share ONE dresser? The dresser was a gentle oak with lilies embedded on the sides that crept up towards the gigantic mirror. They had an average sized closet that slides, and had enough room to hang and fold stuff neatly. Cat and I will probably just stuff our belongings into it. We had one bathroom that was extremely cramped. A toilet, small shower on the right side of it and a sink with a mist stained mirror. It had cabinets beneath it for towels and toiletries. There was a living room with a western wobbly table that was chipped and seated four people. A TV set that had an old screen which made you have to squint at it. It had a teeny weenie kitchen that had cabinets surrounding its exterior along with drawers. It had room for only one person to maneuver around the sink and to the installed fridge, oven, or microwave.

"Woo hoo, monnneeeeyyy!" Cat cheered twirling around me waving around a wad of cash. I examined the note that fluttered from the green stack.

I scanned through the small paper's context scowling I read it out loud, "_Dear adorable nieces of mine! Well I didn't want to spoil you guys too much. I filled up your freezer with ice cream because that stuff is amazing. I left $500 for you guys to spend on clothes and Lolita dresses!~ Love you two!" _

I threw open the freezer side of the appliance in irritation. Just one pint of Dark Chocolate Skim ice cream to make us strive for hunger. "How considerate."

"Really?" Cat asked in astonishment obviously not detecting my sarcasm. She got 2 spoons for us and we stabbed the frozen dairy with the metal. My eyes widened when the metal eating utensils bent back. "You know what this means, right?"

"We have to get a," Both of us visibly shuddered underneath our pale bangs. "J-job."

* * *

"Okay what do we have here?" Cat leaned over my shoulder peering at the wrinkled black and white paper in the Occupation section. "_Dog walker. Practice dummy. Grocery clerk. Aquatic mates._ Wait what the fuck..._Asian Lolita model. Experiment subject._"

"The rest is just bizarre," I pointed out eyeing the _Personal Teddy Bear Tea Set Acquaintance _listing.

"Grocery clerk it is!" We beamed I tucked away the listing into my weightless plain black backpack and hopped towards the door Cat hot on my heels.

* * *

"Why do you want to work at this particular store?" The manager of the Supermarket questioned me from across the desk his appearance just screamed "I'm a suck-up and uptight." I nervously racked my brain.

"It deemed to be intriguing?" I sputtered random vocabulary words I thought made me smarter.

The man sighed, "You have no clue what you just said did you?"

I shrugged me shoulders sheepishly, "Nope! But I kinda need the money and I'll work hard for Pocky!" I announced in determination. He just nodded and tossed me an apron and a name tag that said: _Martha. _

"I think you spelled my name wrong," I blankly stared at the name tag hesitantly fastening it on my red employee uniform. He face-palmed.

"The only reason I hired you was that you're getting pad minim wage. And I'm too lazy to print you a new name tag. Call me Mr. Kurowatsu or Mr. K if you have trouble since you can only speak some Japanese." The bald man informed me making me feel gloomier. "Now get out before I fire you."

"Sir, yes sir!" I salute scrambling out of the Employees' Lounge. Cat patiently waited outside for me. I high-fived her raised hand and wished my younger sister luck as she skipped inside.

* * *

**Cat's P.O.V**

Eh. We have to work for an old fart with a waxed head? Oh wait I don't work for him..._yet. _MUST PASS THIS SO I CAN REUNITE WITH MY SISTER. Our bond is just that amazing with her always giving me those piggy-back rides voluntarily.

"Not you again didn't I already give you the job?" He groaned mistaking me for my devious sister. I gasped in mock hurt.

"How can you mistake me for that wench?!" I exclaimed plopping down lazily into the uncomfortable seat. Mr. K his name tag stated, shuffled through the interview papers on his desk. His beady brown eyes widened in shock.

"There is two of you?!" Mr. Baldo murmured. I nodded grinning at him. He just shooed me out throwing an apron and name tag that read: _Wilhelmina. _"You devilish she devils got the job because I only have one other idiot who works for minimum wage.

"I LUB YOU!" I glomped the irritated man who booted me out.

"Nice to see you got the job Martha," I teased tying the crimson apron in the back and goofily pinning the name tag on.

Val smirked blowing me a kiss, "Hawwwwwtt name Wilhelmina!" She ran her finger down her tongue and touched my skin with it. Drawing back quickly and making a _Tssssss _sound effect she winked.

"Oooh girl that's shexxxiiii!" I played along my voice raising a few octaves.

A deeper voice joined in who we assumed was the other employee, "I know right?" Staring in shock we reclined our heads back in sync to stare at a boy around our age 15 or 16. He was taller than us leprechauns with his 5"8 frame. The boy with a large grin and hazel eyes ruffled his light caramel hair. "Sorry I had to introduce myself. I'm Yukio Yuu. I speak Japanese mainly, but my second language is English."

"Nice to meet you. We usually hate people," We commented bluntly at the beaming guy, "But you can be one of those people we don't hate or even better our gay best friend!" We said in sync smiling in a silly way and blowing a raspberry.

"It shall be thee honor." He bowed. Yup we approved of this chap.

"So what are we supposed to do here?" We said lost. Exploring the different isles in fascination. Too bad we couldn't read anything. The had around 20 isles in the large supermarket costumers rummaging through the products. There was a toiletry isle, dairy isle, candy isle (POCKY), and other stuff you would expect to have in a store.

Yukio brought a pale finger to his lips in deep thought, "I think we're supposed to work."

"Oh," I stated feeling more of an idiot than normal, "How do we do that?"

Val prodded the cash register in interest, "Look your supposed to scan their stuff and take their money. Pretty straight forward." Yukio ordered me and Val who nodded sheepishly sweat-dropping.

"Oh yeah."

* * *

"God woman what's up with all these razors?" I bluntly invaded a costumer's personal life who flipped me off and slammed the money onto the counter and stormed out.

"Come again!" I cheerfully waved her out.

"Oh wow you suck," Valentine laughed from her register behind me. I huffed and stuck my tongue out at her and the laughing Asian Yuu.

"I did pretty well," I countered pressing buttons onto the machine that unlocked the cash register. I inserted the money and pushed it shut. "Don't you guys have a job to do instead of insult me?" I questioned childishly waving my finger at Val's overflowing line.

I eyed the next costumer in line. It was an obese man his shopping cart filled with _disturbing _product I didn't even know we sold here. _Condoms, whip cream, and rope. __Someone is going to get raped. _I awkwardly scanned the items his foot impatiently tapping while he loaded his stuff on the convection belt. "Um, so do you like children?"

"Course I do. Why you asking me dat?" He answered taking a drag from his cigar and pulling out a Bud Light 6 can pack. He plopped it on the counter and I nervously scanned them.

"So um, can I see some license?" I scratched the back of my neck. Yukio that lazy ass was just slouching on a wall snickering at the costumer's interest. The pudgy man shuffled through his leather wallet and withdrew his license I scanned. _What he's not an organ donor?! And he's old. Like super old. And he's a girl? Whuuuuttt thhhheee heeeeelllll? _"Thank you Ms...or Mr. or it."

"It's Miss, but you can call me momma," The tranny thing purred seductively. I hurriedly threw the stuff into the brown bags.

"Me no speak Japanese," I replied in Japanese. _Cat that is just a major face palm. _

"Are those boobs real?" I bluntly asked having a weird fetish to just poke the meat. I mean did she or he have a dick?

"Wanna touch and find out?" She/he purred at me. I shook my head rapidly the blonde hair of mine scattering.

"VALLLLLLLLL HELPS." I make an 'X' with my hands and nudged my hand towards the posing tranny that was licking her/his lips.

Val broadly strolled up to me chatting with Yukio. "What? _Oh what is that?!_" She whispered to me glancing at the thing that was now stripping and grinding against the shopping cart.

"I'm scarred for life," The male employee we befriended shuddered.

I quickly tossed the brown bags in the cart of the _thing_ that was bald, overweight, and had way too much geisha make up. "That's $48.76. Please don't come again." I paled stowing away the money and booting her/he out of the store.

"Let's call it a day," Val gulped throwing her apron at Yukio who still had to work an extra shift because he spent his goofing off. I agreed repeating her action and we walked home the memory of the tranny scaring the shit out of us.

"You guys are just going to leave me here?" Yukio groaned from his stand. The other cash register isles that glowed '2' and '3' dimmed down and we opened the door.

"Pretty much." We said. Throwing open the double doors a fan hit us from above the sales posters fluttering.

"Come on you guys? Guys?" And that poor bastard couldn't be heard over the sale and complaints of costumers.

* * *

**Valentine's P.O.V**

"I felt like a bad ass with the fan and all." I said. I eyed my sister who wore the exact outfit as me. A black tank top underneath a leather jacket, black skinny jeans with shimmering silver chains dangling off them, and knock off engineer boots. Fastening the black fingerless glove strap I smirked at my mirror image.

"I know!" She gushed our foot steps slapping against the paved sidewalk. "We're just that sexy-"

"Get away from you guys! I won't wear that dress!" A girl in a pink floral sun dress with short brown hair glanced behind her shoulder her white sandals thumping in our direction.

Her doe milky brown eyes widened and she stumbled over her feet colliding with us. My back painfully hit the asphalt. _Seriously is the world just against me and wanting me to be an old lady with a hunched back. _

"Are you okay?" I question the adorable girl I just wanted to glomp. I help the sulking Cat who stared dumbly at the sprawled brunette.

She accepted my outstretched arm and pulled herself off the unsanitary floor. "Thanks my name is Fujioka Haruhi." Haruhi smiled at us brushing the invisible lint from her clothes. "Sorry I ran into you two. Honestly it's just because of those _bakas ..._" She trailed off deadpanning.

"Haruhi!" A chorus of male voices rang and footsteps enclosed on us.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey sorry for the late updates 3**

* * *

"Great..." The brunette girl mumbled at the group of guys who chased after her.

I stared at them blankly along with Cat. There was a hyper 6-year-old with blonde hair and chocolate wide eyes clutching a bunny that I wanted to steal from him dressed in casual dress shirt and shorts with sandals, a tall giant with spiked black hair jeans and a white dress shirt allowing the little blonde kid to ride on his shoulders (_Cat tries to do that with me, but she ends up murdering the shit out of my back) _It looks fun, A set of ginger twins eying us like we were wearing spaghetti hats and bacon strips for clothes which started creeping us out with their narrowed golden feline slits and colorful wardrobe consisting of sleeveless blue hoodie shirts and tied sweaters around their cargo pants. That made no sense at all why take a sweater when the heat is making us shrivel up like like...I don't know, but It's hot man. There was an irritated glasses nerd with combed hair and casual clothes and sandals looking like he crawled out of bed, and then there was that guy molesting Haruhi. He had mist covered amethyst eyes and blonde hair dressed in flashy designer clothes.

"And then Santa will put you on his naughty list and then you won't get any presents at all! And then you will get depressed and then you will starve yourself and then you will die!" The blonde bimbo rattled on weeping on her soaked shoulder. "DADDY WON'T ALLOW IT!"

"Senpai you're not my dad, I have one, that's plenty already," Haruhi bluntly told him. In a flash he was sulking behind a street lamp a gloomy aura attacking him.

"Nice job Haruhi!" The creepy twins cheered high-fiving each other. I stared blankly at Cat who returned my look. We shrugged and peacefully walked away from the chaotic bunch.

Tamaki popped in front of our faces somehow spawning there from his shriveled up sulking spot. "I'm sorry I didn't pay no attention to you my princesses. I was simply distracted by your beauty to notice your presence." He told us kissing Cat's knuckles tenderly.

"Wait we thought you were gay," Me and Cat exclaimed in shock. The blonde dude paled and face-planted into the pavement.

"Nice one!" The two twins congratulated. We shrugged and tried to continue walking down the road living out normally crazy lives stepping on the blonde guys back in the process. Hey you can't blame it's actually really funny once someone else's back gets mest up.

"Hi! My name is Mitsukuni Haninozuka! But you can call me Honey. And this is my cousin Takashi Morinozuka!" The small dude comfortably perched on the giant's shoulders chirped to us flowers bombarding him. _Japan guys...they're all weird. All of them. _He added in quickly, "It's really cool that you guys are twins you know?! If I had a twin he would be really cute!" _Did he just compliment himself? _

"I bet he would be uber cute!" Cat and me grinned at the bubbling Honey.

"Uber? Why Kaoru I think these girls are more stupider than we thought," One twin spoke to the other who I'm guessing was Kaoru. Unless he was referring to himself in 1st person, but that would just be weird.

The other twin nodded in agreement. "Why yes Hikaru. These two don't know that '_uber_' isn't a word." The two twins whispered evilly behind their hands glaring at us. Me and Cat sweatdropped.

"If we're stupid than what does that make you two?" We retorted huffing. Haruhi giggled at their flabbergasted expression. Flabbergasted is such a fun word. Like really.

Smirking they replied in sync, "Defiantly smarter than you commoners." Oh okay, they want a battler they're going to get one.

Cat hissed at them her aura seething a deathly black. _Damn it they made Cat go black. Kind of like Haru from Fruits Basket, except not as much as a pervert. _I held on her collar keeping her from lashing out like a demon hell-hound.

"Commoners? I think not," The glasses guy but in with his creepy Death Note book. Shit he's going to so kill us. If I'm dead by tomorrow then no one gets my stuff. I'm selfish, no one is touching my pocky stash! No one. "Cataline and Valentine Fisher. They prefer to go by Cat and Val. Or Valarie, Valley, Kit-Cat, etc. Both Aquariuses. Born on February 13 hence their names which were based off Valentine's day. Have a defiant record causing them to move to Japan. Currently 5"2. Part Irish, Japanese, and American. No other siblings. Parents Mr. and Mrs. Fisher. They are 15 years old. Hair is a blonde hue with blue eyes. Currently enrolled in _Ouran Academy_. Can only speak Japanese and don't know how to read or write in it."

"That shit is creepy," Me and Cat shivered hiding behind our fellow giant friend: Takashi. He awkwardly patted our heads while Honey chatted about Cakes and cute Honey stuff.

"Great they go to our school," The twins scowled. Haruhi whacked the back of their heads in annoyance.

"Be nice," She warned them. They sulked even more.

"My name is Kyoya Ootori, and that _baka _over there is Tamaki Souh." The creeper informed us. "If you ever need help with the Japanese language please ask me.

Haruhi gasped in surprise, "Your actually _nice _senpai!"

"Don't get me wrong," Kyoya gave her a fake-stalker-grin, and fixed his spectacles with his middle finger. Middle fingers are meant for flipping people off man! "Their aunt is a supply provider for the Ootori hospitals."

"Of course," The twins and Haruhi said deadpanning.

"Well as fun as this is," I started wanting to get away from these mad people. _Again _Japan is weird.

"We have to go now," Cat walked backwards with me sheepishly waving in sync at the lively bunch. _Almost there. Just a few more steps-_

"Were are you going my lovely _fleurs_?" Tamaki purred all up in out personal space.

"I thought we killed him," Cat whispered to the twins who shrugged.

"Anywhere but around you," I nonchalantly said side stepping his withering body.

Haruhi approached us completely neglecting Tamaki's pleas to call him father, "Mind if I tag along?" Me and Cat smiled and let her squeeze in the middle of us. The host club oblivious that we already escape were teasing each other and causing a commotion. "Hope you don't mind, but I have to go grocery shopping." She sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck making me refrain from glomping her kawaiiness. Yes me and Cat glomp people because hugs are too over rated.

"You look so glompable!" Me and Cat groan fangirling over this chick. Damn Japanese people too cute.

"Glompable?" Haruhi repeated in confusion.

Me and Cat shrugged eying the Super Market we work in. It's so unoriginal the name of the store is literally Super Market. "Hugs are too mainstream."

"I see," She laughed grabbing a basket and entering, the cool fan making her dress sprawl around. We followed her like a puppy while she piled in cans of soup, leeks, vegetables, packets of noodles, and other things. We snuck in boxes of pocky into her basket, but she caught us and made us return it.

After us strolling in the carts, and trying to persuade the provoked girl who was chuckling we finally ended up at the cash register 5. Yukio glared at us ringing up our items. "Heeeeeeyyyy maaannn what's happening?" Cat asked in a thick Jamaican accent. Yukio _Pfffffted _at her lame attempt to make him laugh.

"Notin' much man. It's jus' tat' **Ja makin' **me laugh man," He replied with a horrible accent. No one even smiled at the joke. "You get it because Jamaican and Ja makin' ?"

"That's racist," Me and Cat turned our heads away leaving him gaping.

"But you guys just," Yukio sighed casting Haruhi a look of sympathy, "I feel bad for you."

"As for you," Haruhi sighed paying for her items and using our employee discounts me and Cat forced onto her.

"You guys love us," I teased sticking my tongue out and loading the groceries into paper bags. Why were paper bags brown? That's the ugliest color ever, why not like orange?

The two sweatdropped and shook their heads while Cat attacked the candy machine with quarters.

"Hey what are you two doing slacking off?" Mr.K bellowed. We carelessly waved our hands.

"We took a lunch break." We responded in sync. Yukio mumbled something like "Lunch break my ass" and "What did they eat for lunch an elephant?" while handing Haruhi her receipt.

"Well I'll see you guys at school tomorrow," Haruhi ran out quickly clutching her bags.

"Get back to work," He barked at the three of us who were chattering with the few costumers and gobbling down pocky.

Yukio shrugged and strolled in boredom behind his counter attending to an old woman. "No you can't get a discount on stuff that's not on sale. No why the heck would the tampons be on sale, wait why do you even need tampons!"

"Should we help him?" Cat asked glancing at the bickering duo. I shook my head while we continued sitting on our lazy arises chewing elegantly on our pocky.

"Hey guys. You know what's sweeter than that Pocky _my _Pocky," Yuu hollered at us winking in our direction.

"And you know what's even sweeter, your dad's. We would know hun," We winked back blowing him a kiss. He sweatdropped and continued arguing with different costumers.

* * *

"I am so tired," Cat sighed hanging off my limping back. I grunted in knowing since it was 9:45 and we had to work up extra hours with Yukio since Mr.K caught us slacking off..._again. _

"I know," I moaned crawling towards the door with the dead Kit-Cat on my back. That rhymed man.

"Were is my keys?" A familiar voice grumbled by beside us. We turned our heads slowly and stare at Yukio who blankly stared back. "You two live here?" Her asked in surprise.

"Yeah," We nodded. "We wanted apartment 269, but some dude took it." We complained and he shook us off his body.

"I know I only got apartment 267, "Yukio sighed half asleep. "Well I'ma crash night."

"Wait we want to sleepover over at your house!" We cheerfully yelled. He shook his head at us pointing a shaky finger behind us.

The disturbing voice from behind us made all three of us pale, "You can sleep over at my house." We turned around. The tranny thing from earlier today was winking at us while trotting into apartment 269. Go figure.

"I want to move." The three of us shivered. Yukio who was too much of a woos to sleep alone invited himself into our house and fell asleep on our conjoined twin beds.

"Wait where are we going to sleep?" Cat whined to the tired Asian.

He grunted, "Cat shut up I'm trying to sleep."

"Hey come on where do we sleep! And since when can you tell us apart?" I shook his tired body that refused to budge from the bed.

"Your both stupid, but Cat's a bit stupider." He mumbled into the pillow making Cat rattle her fist at the snoring boy. "Bitches can sleep on the floor."

"Pffft rude," Me and Cat laughed while he shrugged us off. We shared looks before crawling next to him and falling asleep.

* * *

"_Eeeeewww _gross what are you two doing in my bed?" Yukio teased us waking us up in the process. We rubbed the sleep out of our eyes. "I know I'm irresistibly sexy, but come on guys."

"Shut up," I grumbled whacking him with my pillow. He laughed ducking down so it slammed into Cat's pissed off face.

I crawled out of bed opening the closet for something to wear on the first day of school. Which we would probably end up throwing glitter on it and burning it to the floor while Yukio rolls in its ashes. A note fluttered from a bagged uniform.

"_Dear adorable nieces of mine, Here's your uniform for your first day of school. I found a guy in your bed __this morning so I __just ended up not waking your little threesome. Don't worry I didn't tell your parents. Anyways don't blow up the school and have fun. -Aunt Jen_" Cat read blandly crumpling it up and tossing it in the trash bin. Too bad she missed by 30 miles.

"Never become a basketball player," Yuu warned wrestling with the sheets and standing near us leaning on our shoulders.

I unzipped the bags gagging at the sight. Cat blanched and Yukio made a weird suffocating sound effect. What is this shit? It wasn't even cute. It was poofy and looked like a dog pissed on it. And then there was a bizarre red ribbon that didn't match the colors at **all. **

"I'll go get the matches," Cat screamed rushing out.

* * *

So here the three of us stood. Me and Cat in matching clothes, refusing to wear the _uniform- I mean banana shit_. We had casual black skinny jeans, a navy blue hoodie since Japan's weather is a bi-polar bitch. I mean really mother nature? Burn the hell out of us yesterday and then freeze our arses? The hoodie had '_If you're a swag fag you better leave before I bite you. Hard.' _In black block letters. We had our x-hi converse with rave laces, and fingerless leather gloves to protect us from the unsanitary snobs. Our hair was lazily brushed and our front bangs hung in front of our pale eyes.

The school? There was flourishing prissy stuck up kids scattered across the campus gossiping to one other and letting out their war cries of '_Kyaaaaaaa_'s. And their uniforms. Oh Kami-sama whoever made them must have been colorblind. Red, white, blue, and yellow? What the hell were you thinking man. I stood behind the towering gate with the trio who face-palmed at the snobby school. I picked nonchalantly at the rusted black paint watching specs of it flutter onto the perfectly fake trimmed grass. For a rich kid school you would at least expect the grass to not be so itchy.

"It's pink." The three of us pointed out. Yukio shook his head and walked away his fashion critique lashing out. Cat call's it his gay side, but meh. That and his school started in 30 minutes.

Cat gave me a pointed look, "Can I blow it up now?"


	4. I should give my chapters names

**Well thank you to anyone who reviewed c; You're the reason I love-making stories so feel immensely special. I sound like I have an English accent...which I do so my writing font is a bit off xD Seriously though attempt reading my A/N in an English accent and you can see how my writing varies...GAH TOO FORMAL. ****ANYWAYS...I am going to do a Question and Answer thing where you can ask any question to anyone in the story and they'll do their best to answer SO LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS/QUESTIONS IN THE REVIEWS :o**

* * *

**Cat's P.O.V**

"Well I guess we have to go in now," Val shuddered cursing out Yukio underneath her breath for running off. That traitor!

I scratched my head staring at my older sister's narrowed eyes, "Hey, your eyes kind of look periwinkle -ish once your mad."

"If my eyes are periwinkle won't that make _your_ eyes periwinkle?" Valentine questioned quizzically eying the butler holding the gate open for us. He was probably like a school custodian. Unless he _was _a butler or what if he was Sebastian?! From, from BLACK BUTLER? But then again Sebastian is _waaaaaay _too sexy to look like that guy. And he had hair not a bald waxed head. Valentine has a weird obsession with Ciel, but I think Grell is that best. I mean he is just a boss who invented chain saws in the Victorian Era. Seriously Grell is just to cool to be in that anime.

"Touché," I nodded the gossiping of my soon to be classmates stopped once we entered the gate. In fact the lively buzz of the civilized students vanished as our in sync footsteps echoed along the marble pathway. Hands stuffed in our pockets and our moves identical. A circular fountain separated fields of posh grass the students neatly littered along the pathways or around the fountain staring at us with criticizing eyes. Now that I look at the fountain I really wanted it. I mean a naked marble angel taking a piss in the fountain looks pretty cool.

Me and my mirror image exchanged looks easily conforming that we were both annoyed with the extra attention. Val scrambled in her black backpack stuffed with packets of Ramen and Pocky. Pocky was the only reason we were here, honest. Our Aunt who is now watching over us knew that we would refuse attending this wanna-be princesses castle and blackmailed us using our only weakness: Pocky. She's evil. "Hey Kit-Cat," Val paused her head stuck in the bag while searching for something,"Did you pack the Ipod?" She poked her head out her blonde hair mangled and tousled in different directions.

A chorus of gasps from our school sounded.

_"They have a device for music?"_

_"Probably filled with barbaric things!"_

_"Look at her hair. How unladylike!"_

_"Wow they're kind of cool..." _Okay I may have added that comment just to admit that I am cool in my mind.

"_You two!_" Some lady stormed up to us her black Mary Janes thumping on the polished pavement. Her mahogany hair clashing somewhat with the uniform which once I saw her I started laughing my ass off. "How dare you filthy commoners approach our school and disgust us all with your uncivilized fashion!"

"-you two look like peasants! Honestly, how disgraceful!" I caught Valentine's bored look that said, "Are-you-fucking-shitting-me?" I was now rolling on the polished pathway, _literally. _More people made snide remarks, but this was too damn funny! Val's face...Oh look she's now blocking her out by blasting her earphones on he Ipod*****! OH GOODNESS THE RED HEAD IS NOW SIZZLING. She's firetruck mad! "Your ugly die in your hair is making my infuriated! Go wash it out in the fountain." The bitchy chick pushed Valentine. Val didn't even budge scrolling through her many apps and deleting some. NOOOOOO I GOT SO FAR IN THAT GAME WHY?! My older sister finally looked up and tucked her Ipod into her backpack.

"Oh sorry was I supposed to fall in there?" Valentine asked monotonously a smirk only noticeable to me had my lungs begging for mercy while she bluntly nudged her finger towards the spontaneous fountain. I think she enjoyed making me laugh, until I can't breathe and turn a discombobulated purple. The chick in front of her seethed even more. Val shrugged and swung her legs over the ledge of the fountain taking a seat right where the marble statue was taking a piss. She put up her hood unfazed of the weird glances at her and lounged in the water feeling the splash collide with her skull. "There does that make you feel better?"

"You will rue the day you messed with Ayanokoji!" Rue. Ah such a funny word. A chick made my sister wet. OH GOD THAT SENTENCE! She stormed off after.

I stared at my sister still chuckling and slapping my hand against my thigh like a retarded seal of some sort, "Having fun in there?"

"Yup," She smiled popping the 'P' while her clothes sucked in all the water soaking her. Many people stared at us revolted or shrugged and walked away. I hopped over the bench and plopped in the fountain with her laying lazily in the shallow water.

"You guys are silly what are you doing in the fountain?" A bubbly familiar blonde chastised from his older friend's shoulders. What was this kid doing outside of the elementary school section?

Me and Valentine shrugged in unison, "You know just chillin'." We told him in sync. I liked when we talked at the same time because when we do we have a uninterpreted bond. Once we talked out of sync with people we were FAMILIAR with, which was only Yukio who somehow wiggled his awesome but in our lifestyle in only a day, you could _easily _note the differences between me and Val. No we weren't clones, and did not _always _know what the other is thinking. I mean you really think Val would be able to keep up with my thought train? Choo-choo. Valley was more calm and level-headed, just as stubborn as me, more smart in school than in common sense. I can't really talk because whatever common sense gene was tossed out the window and given to Valentine. I was a bit more dramatic too.

"Out. You'll get sick." The giant feller ordered dragging us out by our drenched hoods. We moped on the lawn only having 5 minutes to show up to class all squishy and gross and stuff.

"Honey why are not in the **elementary **section?" Valentine questioned sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce. Now I shall pounce. I dramatically belly-flopped on Val's lap and she squeaked in protest.

"You're so fat man!" She groaned nudging me onto the grass.

"Won't that make you just _as _fat?" I countered using the same comment she used against me like 8 minutes ago.

Honey giggled, "I'm too old for the elementary section!" Oh yeah they were still here. You know I'm starting to get annoyed by that giant fellow. I mean he's just standing there like _'I'm-too-good-for-life'. _

"What do ya mean? Oooooh! You're in middle school right?!" Val nodded in determinations pretty darn sure that she got it right. But since this is _our _family she would probably end up having the worst luck.

Mitsukuni shook his head an innocent smile twirling on his lips, and his eyes shimmering while he cuddled Bun-Bun. "I'm in class 3-A."

"WHAT HOW?!" We shrieked at the 'kid'. We had an epiphany moment as we replaced the cutesy smile with a smug eighteen year old grin. "Oh you cheeky senpai!"

Habu giggled-I mean _chuckled _at our accusing finger wagging and snuggled his giant companion. And Takashi doesn't budge. Not a single sign of life other than his rhythmic breathing and his chest moving up and down slightly. Ready? Set? GO!

"Are you okay?" His deep voice rumbled sending jolts up my spine while I desperately clinked on his bicep. I'm starting to think tackling Morinozuka-kun wasn't such a good idea.

I numbly nodded my head tearing my eyes from his concerned black beady eyes that told his emotions way more than his stoic face. "Just peachy." A bell rang and he carefully set me on the grass double checking for bruises and such and leaving us damp in the lawn.

"I hate Japanese guys," Me and Valentine mumbled gathering our belongings and walking off to class 1B.

* * *

"Haruhi! We came for you-" Our eyes darted around the classroom staring at the thug-faced Yukaza class.

The irked sensei stared at us, "Fujioka Haruhi is in the upper class;1A. This class is for delinquents."

"Oh then what are we doing in here?" I innocently beamed at the old fart who looked like a raisin.

He shuffled through his folder pulling out piece of paper. He unfolded it with his wrinkly shaky hand, and unfolded it, and unfolded it. Seriously this guy just spent 15 minutes unfolding this list. He perked up every rebels' attention while he monotonously read the long list.

"Cataline and Valentine Fisher. Started 15 fires in their previous schools. Tinfoil in the microwave, Biology, 'accidentally' spilling Grape soda in the computer lab, matches, trying to cook the school mascot, spraying Axe on their hands and lighting it on fire which wasn't harmful to them, but to their whole school, Seeing if they could make the school's pool evaporate, attempting to make human soup in the school showers, roasting marshmallows over their school books, lighting a fireman on fire to see 'how-firetrucking-hot-he-can-get' and several other cases.

Got in 10 fights. Over Pocky.

Pulled 699 pranks in total including their principles and sleeping gas in the venting systems."

The whole class laughed at the number of pranks we set and applauded us like heroe neglecting the deadpanned sensei.

"We'll we're going to transfer into class 1-A or else you'll be on our hit list," We smirked devilishly and walked out arm in arm to the neighboring door.

* * *

"Hello our wonderful classmates!" I bellowed barging in flamboyantly in class 1-A for the uber smart people. Everyone paused their note taking to glance at me for disturbing their class.

Valentine coolly shrugged walking in after me and beaming at the sheepish sensei who looked flimsy and kind-hearted. The said teacher Mr. Fujawaru was scrawny and clumsy looking while he scrambled to neatly align his glasses on his button nose. "Val and Cat! Transfer students," Valentine introduced getting several smiles or repulsed looks.

"T-transfer students?" The sensei repeated meekly glancing around nervously, "No one h-has informed me of transfer student-ts, where are you t-two transferring from?"

"Class 1-B," Mr. Fujawaru visibly paled dabbing his face with his neck tie and muttering about how he was no good with students, much less delinquents.

He cleared his scratchy throat and stammered out, "Go take a s-seat in any unoc-cupied p-place."

We both devilishly grinned our hidden blue eyes darting across the class. _Annoyed prissy girls who look like they have sticks up their asses. Hmm polite boys sending sheepish smiles, and the rest of the 2% passing notes. Oh look Haruhi! Damn it those two twins are in the seats. _

"HARUHI!" We waved frantically at the girl who was oddly dressed in a boy's uniform. "You have a weird fashion choice...""

She deadpanned along with the twins and shivered at the intense glares we received from her stalkerish fan club. But there were only 3 of them trying to roast us alive with their demonic stares... the rest of her so-called fan club we're really polite. We plopped in the orange chairs behind their conjoined desks.

"Don't you guys want to introduce-e yourselves?" Mr. Fujawaru regained his composure somewhat and called attention to the other set of twins. Why do all twins have to be devils?

We trudged monotonously towards the front, "Hai sensei..."

"My name is Valentine Fisher. I'm older. I hate people. I'm more calmer than this _thing_." My sister nonchalantly stated off her fingers. And jabbed her thumb at me.

I lovingly kissed her cheek getting all my slobber purposely on her cheek. She pushed me mercilessly away and I bounded back up glomping her. "Awww come on you know you love me!"

_"Incest? Come on we do that!" _The Hitachiins shook their fists at us and we blew them kisses.

"It's not incest it's just ..._Cat_." Vallerie grumbled while I latched on her once more. "Sensei can I transfer?"

The whole class sweat-dropped as I bombarded her with affection. She mumbled her temple throbbing with a tick mark while trying to shake me off her arm. Haruhi deadpanned and thought about getting a class transfer unlike the Hitachiins who were now holding grudges against us for stealing their '_incest_'.

* * *

**I got a couple of questions that you guys would really help me out by answering ^w^**

**1. Should I make the chapters longer (4,000 - 5,000) and have a longer update wait or keep it the same? **

**2. What pairings do you guys want to see? I may have a poll so vote in reviews c; **

**3. Should I give the tranny thing a name? :o**

**4. What do you think of this story so far?**

**5. ANY SUGGESTIONS OR IDEAS ? :D**

**6. Should I make a Q & A Thingy where you ask the characters _anything _and they _have _to answer. You could even ask Cat & Val's parents, Aunt, Yukio, the tranny, heck even the left over potato salad they tossed away this morning!**

**PLEASE ANSWER THEM AND REVIEW ^^^^^^ It's for a good cause c;**


	5. Chapter 5 Fanfappingtastic Pocky

**Hellers! Thanks to the reviewers! And for the "sake of Ouran" THE TRANNY SHALL REMAIN UNNAMED! Yup you know who you are reviewer c; .**

* * *

_**Valentine's P.O.V**_

"Honestly you two are almost as troublesome as the twins," Haruhi scolded handing us slips of notebook paper. It's not my fault I forgot to actually shove some school supplies in the measly black bag. Meh that was Cat's job I just had to pack the Pocky and Cherries. CHERRIES ARE LIKE SEXUAL REPRODUCTION FOR YOUR TASTE BUDS.

Me and Cat sheepishly mumbled a thanks and flipped off the mocking twins who called us 'moronic commoners' or something like that. Apparently we had school Monday through Friday from 8:30 to 3:00 pm unless you're in a club or something then you just like...stay until club hours finish. And like each class period is like damn 50 minutes long which bores me to death. We had the amount of periods you needed to pass and I made sure me and Cat's schedules were identical to the unknowing Haruhi who suffered our wrath in homeroom. MUHAHAHAHA. Evil laughing makes me sound weird...oh god.

We had Home room and the teachers just switch out after about 50 minutes during passing period we were allowed to stroll aimlessly through the halls chattering away with people. First period we had Science...although I'm slightly worried in a few minutes once we go to the Biology Lab number 5 ...out of like 23. Cat and me may end up nuking it by 'mistake'. Bleh oh well. Then we had Mathematics (Algebra II) even though I'm pretty sure me and Cat were far behind in math...probably still moping in the basic Algebra course. Third period History, this wasn't as bad as other subjects (Cat strongly dislikes it with a passion) I'm nonchalant about it. Physical Education ~cough~ P.E sucks monkey butt ~cough~. I mean if your rich and stuff what's the point I bet we just walk around while gossiping or some weird shizz. Elective...I think we're in French or a cooking course...I forget And then Japanese ~twitch~ ...We can't even read or write Japanese so I'm starting to think me and Cat weaseling in the advanced and basic classes with Haruhi was a bad idea. THEN ENGLISH. WHOOP. Some not foreign gibberish I can actually make out the text.

"And then in Chemistry I "accidentally" joined the Hydrogen and Oxygen cells," Cat put finger quotes around it our inner scientists geeks beaming with mischievous pride while she boasted to the note-taking twins and musing Fujioka-san.

Haruhi scrunched up 'his' eyebrows and placed 'his' hand on the knob that lead to our Biology lab, "Doesn't that make a really bad chemical reaction?"

"Yup," I popped the 'P' barely gazing out of the corner of my eye at the slightly smirking younger sister of mine who threw herself at my back once more. My eyebrow spazzed in annoyance and my temple throbbed when I heard the 'crack' of my spine...yet again. DAMN HER I SWEAR I SHALL AVENGE MY POOR BACK ONE DAY. AND THEN I'LL MARRY DEATH THE KID AND RUB IT IN HER FACE. I withered beneath her weight, "Seriously if I end up in the hospital because of your fat ass I'll force you to eat that hospital crap."

She shuddered throwing a failing pout and wide puppy dog eyes that couldn't even be seen underneath her shadowing bangs and leaped off at the death glare I sent her. I cracked my back in place and the twins made snide comments on our behavior and my "old-lady-appearance". Honestly, those two need a spanking-scratch that they will probably enjoy that too much like the sadistic devils they are.

"I'm sitting as far away from you four as possible," Haruhi said scrambling towards a seat next to 'his' hyperventilating fangirl. We pouted as the four of us got smooshed in the back several rows away from the bright Fujioka who we all planned on cheating off of.

One of the more grumpish twins gave us an annoyed glare. "This is all your faults."

"How, if anything it's you two!" Cat seethed eyeing the Biology textbook with distaste. It was a green thick book probably filled with thousands of words and had a photo of two conjoining cells on it. Meh...I like chemistry way better. It was one of the Hitachiins who was hot-head seated in the beginning of the row, Kit-Cat, the OTHER twin, then me on the end who was gazing out in distaste as students elegantly strolled towards their next class. The seating just HAD to be boy, girl, boy, girl. Which in my opinion was unfair because Haruhi got the window seat next to a GIRL. And we had to seat next to these no-good, troublesome, mischievous, set of twins. Okay not us, but the other set of twins.

"Why Hikaru," Okay so I'm thinking that one's Kaoru, unless they insist on referring to themselves in third person, but that's just dumb. "Aren't they the ones who forced their way into our class although they're both as dumb as nails?"

"Oh Kaoru that's an insult alright," They smirked at us their vibrant feline features etched into my fuming mind, "That's an insult to nails."

Cat's black aura made them slowly look up while I palmface. Facepalm makes no sense because you're not moving your face forward and banging it into your palm, no! It's your palm that slams into your face not the other way around. Pffft. Anyways, back to Cat.

"Guys you might want to like," I cough awkwardly and look away from the scene of Kit-Cat trying to bash their dazed heads into the vertical long strip of desk. Haruhi looked up sweat beading down 'his' temple while she claimed to her fangirls that 'he' had no clue who we were. Rude.

"Okay class settle..._down_," The bespectacled modest female teacher sent an exasperated look at Cat who politely loosened her grip and caused the nauseous Hitachiins into their perspective orange chairs. "Please flip to page 32 so we can begin our note taking. I flickered through nervously skimming the miniscule text that was in weird symbols. Japanese...still no clue what the fudge it means. Cat looked around jittery doodling in her notebook so it actually looked like she was doing something.

The twins snickered at our confuzzled state much to our distaste. I raised my hand, "May we get an English version?" The teacher had an epiphany moment taking note of my accent and exchanged the biology books for English. We flipped through until we ended up on page 32 reading underneath our breaths, "Fundamental elements of the cells are essential to be knowledgeable about..." Cat's hand rose once more.

"I'm sorry I thought these were English," She muttered her face scrunched up in thought and pressed against the pages of the book trying to make sense of the microscopic text. The teacher felt a bead of sweat slide down her temple as she shakily informed her it was. I palmfaced and the twins laughed their asses off.

"Get back to work..." The sensei muttered rubbing her temples, "This assignment is due by tomorrow now hurry along children...wait when did I say it was okay for you guys to talk!" She yelled in vain at the buzzing class having their servants or butlers completer their homework in front of her very eyes.

* * *

"You guys looked like you came out of a war zone," Haruhi murmured while we trudged out of Alegbra II with a boatload of assignments. I stiffly shook a feeble finger at the building we just escaped out of.

"That place is evil!" We cowered in unison while the Hitachiins who enjoyed our pain in school laughed more and more at our failures.

Haruhi sighed holding 'his' papers close to 'his' chest, "Why are you two in advanced classes anyways? Shouldn't you be in far below basic?" Way too put it bluntly. It felt like a load of insults crashed on our head and we shuddered.

"Yeah I mean Kaoru shouldn't they at least know what courses they were taking?" Hikaru questioned teasing malice noticeable in his voice while he wiggled in a strange way doing this weird finger wagging thing. His brother mirrored him and they both 'tsk'ed at our failures. We spontaneously were clobbered with insults and harsh comments causing us to sulk.

"Come on you guys are making a scene," Haruhi whispered a bead of sweat rolling off 'his' temple, "Let's get headed to History before were _all _marked absent." Of course Haruhi would worry about that. Cat seemed to be devoured in waves of depression at the mention of History which she failed miserably at so the twins noticing decided to drag her deviously there in anticipation to make her more glum.

* * *

Just one more period until lunch. Oh god I hate school with a passion...and this rich potato school was no exception, in fact it was worse. So horribly worse with people glaring or gossiping or snickering at our plain appearance and our slightly damp clothes. The classes were harder, and stacks on top of stacks of homework that was supposed to be completed. Right now we had Physical Education I didn't want to go in the details of the other classes...

"Haruhi we're ready!" We called out in our white shorts and over-sized yellow dull shirt that was tied off in a rubber band so it wasn't too loose. Our hair was put up, surprisingly enough, but we didn't want it to swat us while we sluggishly did laps. Our bangs which we could never control limply jutted out over our glistening royal eyes. The two twins strolled up too us still silently guffawing at our poor performances in school subjects.

"Haruhi isn't in this class," We paled and shattered at their leering gaze. "This was an _optional period _you know?"

We gaped at the hunched over and laughing twins who claimed we look like 'carps' or 'disease infested koi' . "HARRRUUUUUHHHHHIIII!" We moped in vain as she left us in the clutches of these _things. _

"Take a lap," The loud piercing whistle sounded and we all started. Most girls lingered in the back mingling with each other, boys who were coo-coo for athletic shizz we're in front of us. So we were kind of in the middle...then there were those two dumb _male _set of twins who were just inhuman and bypassed everyone in a flash.

"How does it feel to lose to us?" Hikaru-I think since he usually blabs off first- smirked swaying in front of us with his brother. We blew them an irritated raspberry and huffed our bangs out of face our legs aching.

"Feels fanfappingtastic." I coldly glared at them heatedly from beneath my lifeless bangs.

"Fapping?" The one with a softer voice giggled at my word choice. Okay he's not as bad as his brother, but I still hate everyone (EXCEPT HARUHI) in this school.

"I'm tired..." Cat yawned, unlike my eyes that bulged open and I nervously shook my hands out in front of her pleading her not too...to late.

"My poor back," I grumbled while she latched her fat bum on my spine and I collapsed in the middle of the track with her gingerly snoring on my stomach.

The twins ruffled our hair claiming we were some entertaining toys or some annoying crap like that. No one of my classmates bothered helping my suffocating frame while I gurgled for oxygen...because we kind of need it. They spared me a glance or two then side-stepped my soul depleting body and the twins doubled over guffaws. And finally after decades of me gasping and clawing at visibly nothing the whistle awoke my demonically "innocent" sister who looked around confused about why I was on the floor making the Hitachiins explode into more laughter. Well that put aside I crawled towards the girl's locker rooms to change and run the hell away from this school...until lunch period was over. There was no way anyone could take Pocky from us, that's like cutting off our air supply. I ran a hand through my knotted blonde stringy hair and tore open a Green Tea Mousse Pocky. It exists! I swear go Google search it you turds. I slipped a stick in my mouth savoring the biscuit flavor that was jutted in my mouth, unlike the mouth-watering green tea end that gingerly hung out.

I threw on my (now dried) clothes and rushed out to meet the somehow already fully clothed trio. They eyed my Pocky with interest, but I shoved the box in the bag giving my sister a Nutcream Peanut Pocky, that one faintly reminded me of Nutella although instead of the creamy hazelnut they used chunky peanut butter. Meh I tasted worse Pocky...

She inhaled it much to the twins pleasure and they began scolding us on manners.

"You know it's common courtesy to share," Hikaru teased his face hovering over mine. He snapped the GREEN TEA piece off **my **Pocky! Ohmergawd no! My face flushed from a hint of embarrassment and anger.

"Hey _baka! _Don't you ever touch my Pocky! No no no! Don't do that!" I angrily pouted slamming my foot repeatedly against the vacant hallways. Oh yeah lunch...Mmmm. I huffed out a lingering piece of hair out of my face once more. They stared in shock at my childish behavior while Cat palmfaced. Yup I'm scary when I'm mad...not.

"That was somehow...cute...in a weird way," They mused one hand placed in a diva way on their hips and the other firmly grasping their chins. They eyed me and Cat with interest an untrustworthy gleam overpowering their feline eyes making me and Cat shake with fear...Oh whoever is up in the sky save us. Unless you're a bird then I don't really know what you can do to save us birds...

"Targets," Their hands were firmly looped in our flailing arms. With a smirk directed at each other the gibberish red heads sped off leaving our previous places in a puff of smoke, "Captured."

* * *

**Okay wonderful readers of mine a couple questions :**

**1) What do you think of this chapter, good, okay, bad, great? 1-10? :o **

**2) Any suggestions or comments? **

**3) Pairings YOU would like to see?**

**4) Any questions for me or any of the characters? You could ask Tamaki why he's such an idiot? Or you could ask Yukio if he's pansexual c; THEY HAVE TO ANSWER...unless that information has to be a secret for the story, but ask away!**

**5) Awwww you guys stayed long enough to read these I LUB YOU GUYS. Yeah this one isn't a question, but if you guys say I love you back I'll give you Yukio for a day so you can do anything with him. **


	6. Demons, Bakas, and are you shitting me?

**Okay I got sooooo many reviews. WHOOP WHOOP. And the guest who reviewed (Yes you,) THANKS FOR THAT LONG REVIEW. IT MADE MY DAY AND YOUR QUESTIONS cx 3 **

**And thanks to the guest for the jungle S.O.S suggestion I will probably due that .o.**

_**Someone asked If Yukio is really pansexual: **_

**Yukio: ****_Pansexual? ...I think Cat is pansexual. Wait doesn't that mean you like pans or pandas? Wait who is asking these questions? ~_****_Walks away admiring pans in the kitchen section of the supermarket~_**

**_Mori can you talk for an hour straight?:_**

**Takashi: ****_Hour?..._**

**Twins: ****_Unless he's high or about to die from sleep loss, he doesn't really do much, actually we have no clue if senpai can really..._**

**Takashi: ****_Am I a boring person...Mitsukuni? _****_~Depressed~ ;-; _**

**_Kyoya is it possible for people in other dimensions to possess your 'Shadow King Powers' ?: _**

**Kyoya: ****_What. The. Hell. Are. You. Guys. Doing. In. My. Room. At. Three. In. The. Morning. ~_****_Deathly black swarm of demons surrounding his bed~_**

**Hikaru: ****_It was m'lords idea. _****_~Shoves the Tamaki who crapped his pants in front of the Shadow King who will tear off everyone's head~_**

**Haruhi: ****_I t-think so... Maybe your related to Kyoya..._****_~Pales and withers away at the thought of someone related to the Shadow King~_**

**AND FOR MY REIVEWERS WHO LOVED ME BACK ~Tosses a duct taped shirtless Yukio who is half asleep at the rapid fangirls and reviewers~ HAVE FUN WITH YUKIO. **

* * *

**_Cataline's P.O.V_**

"Okay what does Pocky have to do with you kidnapping us?" Val deadpanned. How can she be so calm when our hands our flippin' tied together and the blood flow is cut off?! NOT COOL VAL GO APE SHIT! GO CHEW THEIR HEADS OFF AND SLOWLY PEEL THEIR SKIN...Like a banana. Gross. "Cat now is not the time to be thinking about..._bananas you traitor!_" Val hissed behind the commotion of this weird 'host' club Haruhi explained to us. Yeah Valley hated bananas.

"It came to our attention that somehow you meddlesome duo have stumbled upon Haruhi's true identity!" The blondie shouted thrusting a finger at our deadpanning tied frames.

Val exhaled and we stated rather blandly, "You got it the other way around bud. She _actually _stumble into us." We pointed out wriggling in the light deprived rooms like a pair of worms. Honey huffed cutely tossing Usa-chan in the air who had a weird detective uniform on. The blonde baka gasped at our blunt nature thrusting a blinding light in front of our faces with a crazed look.

"How do you know that?!" Oh my god. Didn't he just ask us if we knew her identity what the flip. Haruhi let out an exasperated groan and sent us apologetic looks.

"HARUHI IS THE SEXIEST MANLIEST MAN EVER. HE MAY HAVE A SMALL WILLY, BUT HE'S STILL A MAN!" Hikaru and Kaoru tried to cover up horribly. Pffft. Small willy. We began laughing like we were in a mental hospital... which we probably were. I mean why else would we run into these people?

Haruhi's head throbbed in annoyance gritting her teeth. "Can't we just let them go Senpai? Really you act like they murdered someone..."

"They did kill someone!" He claimed flashing the light in front of our squinted eyes, "They killed your daddy's heart!"

"Senpai you're not my dad. And as for your heart that doesn't really count as a crime, " She bluntly deadpanned while he wheezed and spun away from us. You know that feeling when your like, "Oh nothing can possibly get worse?" And then all of a sudden it gets worst. Yeah I had that moment on the plane here. And now I just want to crawl away and nuke this island.

"K.O.!" The twins cheered giving her a thumbs up from his spazzing body.

Valentine looked like she was trying to gnaw her way out of the ropes. A nerdy guy with like. The nerdy look. You know...he just strolled up with his shit eating smile like 'I own everything. Your now my slaves. Bow down. I'm the almighty.' "You guys are aware of Fujioka Haruhi-san's secret. We can't let this slip can we- Wait how did you guys get out of the ropes?" He narrowed his eyes. We sweatdropped as a deathly aura leaked from him, so deciding we should do the smart thing we slipped back into the loose ropes with teeth marks covering them and retied ourselves.

"As I was saying," He cleared his throat the anonymous light beamed underneath his face illuminating his scary appearance. This is defiantly not a nerd I would wedgie. A demonic smirk spread on his face as if he read my thoughts making me almost crap my pants. "To make sure you won't let our 'secret' slip we'll keep you two under close surveillance. Haruhi needs to repay her 8,000,000 Yen debt. _If her secret is revealed you will have to pay back every penny."_

We froze paling at the thought. Well we're in deep turtle dung now.

* * *

_A little before that when we were being hauled around merrily in a sack by the baka Hitachiins._

"So how is life?" I conversed with my bored sister in the dark clamped Santa bag. Honestly, this has a lot of room for a silk bag. I mean look you can roll like 2 inches away from your original spots. This was one high quality sack. Whoo.

She shrugged nonchalantly in the shadows of the bag that made everything black and forced my eyes to readjust. "Good...just being ...bored."

"Good," I nodded awkwardly, "Good."

Light streamed in the opening of the sack making our eyes automatically squint at the impish smirks of the Hitachiin brothers. You know what? I'm starting to overlook the whole 'I'm-too-good-for-humans-so-we-shall-dub-them-peas ants-and-be-all-evil-on-their-asses' thing they had going on. You know I think they will become my gay incest friends. Yukio is our gay best friend...but he doesn't do incest. Wait now that I think of it does Yukio _even _have parents. He probably just puffed up from thin air because he's too strange to be born.

"Put these on!" They ordered as we limped out of the bag marveling the room we were in. It looked so...so..._gay. _THIS MUST BE YUKIO'S HOME. OH GOD. The furniture itself...was a wretched pinkish, red shade. _Gaaaaaay. _The ceiling was pink. _Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. _And the rest was just...homo. Wait what?

We blankly eyed the skimpy neko waitress cosplay that we were _supposed _to wear to fulfill their weird perverted fantasies. "And then we'll feed you fish and then all you can say would be _Nyaaa~" _A weird tall blonde who I think is in the year above us swooned a couple feet away from us with his weirdo gang.

"M'lord is a pervert~" The twins chided wagging back and fourth in accusation. Okay what are we doing in this random room, with these random people, holding a random cat outfit, randomly ditching the rest of our classes. Like really.

"_Wait wait! _Get your ass back in track," Valerie bolted upwards scratching her head and swiveling her blonde straight hair around her finger, "Did you just say cats go '_Nyaaa_' ? I mean I knew Japan was weird, but even the animals? AND WE HATE FISH BAKAS!"

The twins face-palmed and the others (Haruhi, Honey and Mori-senpai, and the other two where just bizarre faces we faintly recognized) sweat-dropped. "What are they supposed to say?" Hikaru questioned irritation leaking in that thick head of his. Okay first they kidnap us from our education claiming we were a little cute, but still horrifically hideous, takes a bite out of **Val's **pocky, and then go and make us look retarded.

"Meow?" I pressed as if it was the most obvious thing ever. That is what cats say... right? I've been around these weirdoes to much.

They stared at us funny echoing the 'meow' and letting the noise roll of their tongues. "I bet this is the American commoners way of misunderstanding the world in their own ways! Oh just them admiring nature and interpreting it in their own ways is just too much! Haruhi my daughter you should be more like them!" The blondie gushed twirling around in a shit load of glitter. _Again Japan is __weird._

"Seriously I want to go back home," Val sighed collapsing on a couch and watching this whole thing unfold. "Kit-cat I neeeeeddd some more Pocky."

I plopped on her converse watching Honey devour cakes as if he was inhaling it and Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru fuss over Haruhi who wanted to rip 'his' hair out. Which would probably be a horrible idea since it's so short.

"Oy' Haruhi we forgot to ask, but why are you dressed as a guy?" And that led us up to our current predicament.

* * *

"We won't say a word promise!" We pleaded picking at the small camera implanted on our pens. I mean what if we accidentally took the pen with us into the shower and that creep would be smirking behind his glasses snickering at my birthmark on my hip, Val has one right under her breasts...pffft. Hers looks like a smooched fish. Oh god it's hilarious.

The creeper guy smiled (In a really fake way that was just ...fake), "I would advise you to not write anything in the bathroom." OH HOLY CRAP. WHAT. WHAT. NO. IMPOSSIBLE. HE. IS. AN. ALIEN. OR. DEMON...BUT DEMONS ARE HOT LIKE SEBASTIAN SO HE IS AN ALIEN. WAIT HE IS HOT. SO HE'S A DEMON. WAIT WHAT. "My name is Ootori Kyoya, I believe we met before at the incident in the quaint commoner's side of town Valentine-san and Cataline-san. And I'm not a demon." Our faces paled, since Val could read my thoughts, and we stared in shock.

Then we nervously bowed to the shadow king now known as Kyoya-senpai, remembering our manners, and sweat-dropped along with Haruhi who kept protesting we had nothing to do with it and she could care less of our knowledge that she is a transsexual. Wait is she? Maybe...It's said she makes a better guy than Yukio...

"My name, beautiful blossoms of the night sky, is Souh Tamaki! I shall be your prince awaiting the faithful day you return to your castle," The blondie flicked some stray hair out of his face, roses bombarding him with a gagging strong scent, "Unless you need awakening with a passionate kiss?"

"I'd rather stay dead thanks," We both disregarded blushing lightly. Hey don't judge we're not really good with attention from guys! He stood still paling and cracking slowly as if our words damaged his swelling pride of being the President of this so-called club. In a blink of Haruhi's twitching eye he was sulking in a depressing corner...OH MY GOD I WANT ONE OF THOSE.

Val prodded it with a scatter fork, "This is so cool," She gushed silently driving him deeper. She cringed when her fork touched a mushroom. "Gross. I hate mushrooms." The blonde fool eroded away from the face of the Earth and we danced on his ashes.

"Wow Tono, first Haruhi now these two disasters?" Hikaru commented while I nearly beat his ass into the gay floor. I beat his gay butt into the gay room's gay floor near the gay sofa near the not-so-gay Mori. Hey, that guy was kinda hot. Just in a 'I'm-holding-secrets-you'll-never-find-out' kind of way.

Kaoru who warily scooted away from me sparring his brother multiple looks while he ran away from my scrawny legs that were abnormally fast now, decided to make Tamaki-senpai mope even more. Again Japan is weird. "Could you be loosing your touch M'lord?" And boom that blonde guy is dead again. His ashes exploded and they turned back into a person who jumped out of the closest window.

"Hey wait where did Haru-chan and those other two girls go?" Honey pondered twirling in a spiral of flowers.

* * *

"Hey so since I know you guys I get what, a 23% discount?" Haruhi asked, placing the last of her shopping items on the moving thing that I really didn't care about. I shrugged and then I thought of an idea.

"Only if you do a self checkout thing. I'll sit here and supervise." I stated, sitting lazily on the counter behind me. Val walked up with boxes of Pocky in her arms and we began feasting as Haruhi sweat-dropped.

"HARU-CHAN!" Honey screeched, throwing himself at the girl who ducked, making him crash into me. I fell onto the gay Yukio and glared at him.

"YUKIO'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!" I yelled for the hell of it. I was slightly bored and I wanted to see what would happen, but I regretted that decision as soon as someone hugged me. "RAPE! RAPE!"

"Mi'lord is raping someone again. Tsk tsk tsk." the twins scolded, throwing a gay Yukio out of the window. I sweat-dropped as Tamaki went into a corner and began shredding newspapers.

"D-d-daddy wouldn't r-r-rape anyone." Tamaki pouted. The sexy shadow king... uh... I mean the devil walked into the supermarket only to be tackled. "MAMA! THE TWINS ARE SAYING THAT I RAPED SOMEONE!"

"Then it's most likely true." he said making lightning hit the depressed baka. Then, my boss, I already forgot his unimportant name, walked out and dead-panned at the scene.

"Stop eating the merchandise and making out with these random boys and get back to work!" he shouted. I lazily swiped my hand at him and he looked over at Yukio. "That goes for you too." Yukio died.

"Actually, we will be requiring their services. Well, not the guys." the shadow king said. He smiled at our boss who shrugged and walked away. I reached out a hand and Mr. Tranny man walked over to me and glomped me and Val.

"Weird boyfriend you two." the twins snickered as we threw up in the tranny's face. Yukio laughed so hard he fell back through the broken glass and we sweat-dropped.

"SLLLEEEEEEEPPPP OVVVEEEERRRR!" the tranny said, pulling us out of the supermarket. We lazily swung in the wind, hoping this guy would get him by a truck... or was it a really ugly chick? We shuddered at this though.

"DON'T RAPE THE POOR PRINCESSES! MAMA! HHHEEEELLLLPPPPP TTTHHHHEEEEMMMMM!" Tamaki screamed, jumping onto the running Kyoya who pushed him off, as they all ran after us.

As if our prayers have been answered, the tranny who was wearing an adult diaper and tiny wings went splat on some random truck's windshield, still holding us. The truck swerved and ran into a building that crumpled apart, revealing a bunch of old people who were now puking. Me and my mirror image looked at each other before laughing so hard we fell onto the remains of the building. Then, the weather went from sunny to a blizzard in 3 seconds. Again. **JAPAN IS _WIERD_! **

"You guys should have brought a stylish jacket." the twins said as we shivered on the ground. Everyone else in Japan somehow knew about this and brought 15 other pairs of cloths to wear as well. We glared up at them and looked over at Tamaki who was being raped by girls, though it's not rape if he enjoyed it, which he did. We sweat dropped as everyone walked away from us. We crawled to our apartment, which was like, 20 blocks from where we were, and fell asleep with the door and windows open for some reason.

* * *

**My dearest cousin SakuraTree wrote some of it for my lazy arse. ~Sweatdrop~.**

**REVIEW QUESTIONS:**

**1) Pairings? Fluff?**

**2) Chapter rating?**

**3) Do you guys like the idea of my cousin helping me or not?**

**4) SAY YOU LOVE ME FOR A SPECIAL GIFT XD**


	7. Chapter 7 Mother nature and fights

**HELLERS .o. . No questions for the characters, but I got some sweet _'unbribed' _I love yous! So to the reviewers who love me you get.../Drum roll/ YUKIO COSPLAYING AS A NEKO GIRL. /Throws the flushed boy at the fangirls who try shredding him to bits/ I feel a bit of sympathy ..for my cosplay outfit. /Sigh/**

"You know I'm surprised we didn't catch a cold," Valentine muttered to Cat who shook some snow from her blonde hair. Cat just grinned acting like she was to awesome to get her ass sick. Val rummaged through the shared backpack and took out a water bottle attempting to pry the lid off. She looked like she was taking a dump while digging a circular hole.

Cataline dead-panned staring at her failed struggles. "Do you need help with that?" She questioned trying not to laugh at her miserable day. Her sister shoved the crinkled plastic container in her face. Cat unscrewed it taking less than two seconds to do so.

"You hear that?" Her older sister mused pausing. "That's my manly ego shattering into a bazillion trillion little pieces."

Cataline took a lung at the bottle, a bit thirsty herself, but was too lazy to ask for a sip. She tried water-falling, however Val kept drawing crayon porn in the dirt on the access road making her hysterically spill large doses of water onto the two of them. Valentine didn't even look surprised. "You know people are going to give us weird looks if we walk in soaking wet every time..."

"That's what she said," Yukio muttered feeling neglected by the two who completely ignored his presence. Cat let out a small sneeze and rubbed her nose when a small breeze brushed by her spine. The Fisher twins let out a in sync sneeze looking at each other warily. "You look like hell," They bluntly pointed at each other.

It was true due to the fact that they basically slept in below 0 snow and drenched themselves in water. They're skin was paler than their usual bland skin and well their eyes had bags hanging of them. Their faces were flushed a soft crimson and their noses were a bright crimson. "Are you two idiots sick?" Yukio grinned his hazel eyes narrowed at them and tried not to double over at their appearances.

"No we're to sexy to get sick." They both high-fived each other weakly erupting into a fit of hacks and coughs. Yukio chuckled lightly and steered them back to the direction of their apartments. They both limped towards their extravagant school with Yukio lecturing them and bundling them up with layers of clothes like a mother hen.

Waddling towards class they slipped into their classrooms and plunked onto the chairs. "Are they contagious?" several murmurs echoed throughout home room resounding around the sneezing duo who were suffocating in their pile of clothes. Haruhi sweat-dropped and removed the extra clothing causing girls to swoon or feign being ill to get 'his' attention.

"You two honestly are the only ones dumb enough to get sick." She bluntly told them as they let out small sneezes. They just ignored the honest insults she received from the slightly concerned Fujioka. The Hitachiins slunk towards them a devious grin stretching onto their faces.

"You guys are idiots!" Hikaru smirked his golden eyes criticizing them as he leaned on his younger devilish brother.

"Which one is the idiot who got you sick?" Kaoru grinned running a hand through his ginger-ish hair. (Seriously what color is their hair?)

"Cat."

"Val."

They mumbled at the same time before letting out a small sneeze and looked at each other. Valentine uneasily chuckled weakly eyeing her sister from her narrowed eyes. "Who was the one who told me that their sexiness would warm me up?"

"And who's the idiot who believed me?" Cat countered glaring back. Haruhi sweat-dropped as the twins watched the two start bickering. _"I swear you think you're so smarter than me sometimes, but you're the dumbass who still sleeps with a stuffed animal!"_

Valentine flushed with humiliation and anger. "So! I don't give a shit! And you are stupider than me if you didn't notice! You're just a complete idiot who would most likely get raped by a tree if I wasn't there!" The class sent the duo 'WTF' faces looking at them strangely.

"Well the tree would be very lucky to be shoving leaves up my vagina!" Cat dumbly paused whacking her palm to her forehead. They both hade murderous glares as they let out measly coughs.

"YOU'RE THE WORST!" They screeched limping over towards different desks tugging Haruhi with them. Thus, it resulted in a tug-of-war between the two the poor Fujioka captured in between. The twins deadpanned as Haruhi collided into the floor. She already had to witness one fight-even though it was fake- between the two devilish male friends of hers and now she didn't want to be tortured with the Fisher twins.

* * *

**Valentine's P.O.V**

Seriously the nerve of that little...fudger. I can't bring myself to call her _nasty _names, but I hate her! She's a little white ugly biatch...who looks exactly like me...okay not helping since I can't insult her. "I hope you know I hate you." Cataline harshly spat at me from across the room.

"That's nice because now I feel like poking the shit out of your eyes and feeding them to someone who actually gives a fuck!" I yelled back angrily averting my eyes to the board. The sensei drawled out an exasperated sigh muttering something about 'hormonal-teen-girls'.

**(A/N: Fail I wrote like a thousand words and accidentally back-spaced...)**

Apparently we we're to enraged furious PMsing chicks to the teacher and he separated us and created a whole fudging seating chart so we won't chew off each other's head off. "Why are you to _commoners_," Hikaru grimaced once he said the word acting as if was a disease of some sort. Arrogant bastard. "arguing over dumb stuff?" He mumbled acting as if he cared. Haruhi probably set him up to fix things since this situation was his and his demon brother's fault. "I mean you're both idiots and stuff so it's both your faults." My eye twitched.

"If anything this is you and your dumb ass brother's fault," I hissed back in a hushed irritated tone. Hikaru paused a smirk curling onto his lips. The teacher being an idiot left to the restroom deciding he was done attempting to teach the chattering heirs and heiresses.

"Didn't know you had such a foul mouth. But I guess that's what is expected of a low commoner class." Hikaru muttered cockily his head reeling towards me slyly.

I felt the rage rise to my ears and opened my mouth to scold this annoying egoistic jerk. "You know what Hika-A-Ah-AH CHOO!" I sniffled angrily glaring at the boy who was in a fit of guffaws.

"What to stupid to talk properly now?" He cackled. That little demon spawn. I huffed blowing a blonde strand away from my face.

"You know I really hate everyone here, except Haruhi because Haruhi's an amazing ninja of honesty." I muttered slinking into my over-sized hoody. The ginger devil fresh out of the seventh layer of hell eyed me strangely thinking I was an idiot, which I was.

"I'm not even going to try to understand what kind of stupid thing came out of your mouth," He deadpanned rudely turning away from my dejected body. I was starting-Scratch that- I was real pissed off with his attitude. This jackass was treating me as if I was the scum of the Earth.

"You know what just because I'm lower class than you Hikaru Hitachiin doesn't make me any less of a human," I glared my blue eyes burning into the side of his neutral face. "Man I hate jackasses like you who think they're the shit. If you were stripped away from your wealth and stopped relaying on your brother for once then maybe I wou-"

"Just shut up and pay attention to class!" Hikaru glared furiously at me. I froze and numbly looked back at the board waiting in silence for the teacher to return. Maybe I may have-just a little- crossed the line... Minutes went by the class chattering in excitement as the eerie silence drifted around me and him. I eyed the clock watching it tick by agonizingly slow, guilt tore at me by each passing second. "H-hey Hikaru?" His golden narrowed eyes swirling with a burning hatred gazed into my bang covered ones.

"What do you want?" He spat his face scrunched up ad eyebrows narrowed down most likely recalling the unkind words I tossed at him.

I tensed my face slipping into a guilty frown. Letting out small coughs a burning sensation of misery and guilt coursing through me. "I wanted to-" The bell echoed loudly. The Hitachiin quickly stood up sending me a nasty look on his godly features and walked out chattering with Kaoru, Cat, and dragged the concerned Haruhi behind them. Great. I just made everyone mad because of my retarded big mouth. Why do I always end up pissing everyone off.

Walking out of the classroom and letting out a small trail of sneezes I walked towards the rose garden to cower in my loneliness. Cat was the outgoing one. The funny one. The one everyone loved. I was just the one who lingered around her like a babysitter. How lame was that. Dragging the black Jansport backpack I sulked further towards the core of the maze. If this was one of those dramatic animes I would most likely have those cute gloomy rain clouds over my hunched depressed self. I sat on one of the benches the stench of overly flourished flowers making me sputter into a train of sneezes that were muffled into my sleeve. Did anyone else have one of those days were everyone just seemed to hate them? Unzipping my backpack I slowly took out one of the two bentos Cat made us. Another thing she can do and I can't.

Letting out a sigh I unfolded the lunch and awkwardly held the chopsticks. Trying to pick up the white rice it kept slipping out of my hold. Letting out an aggravated sigh I nibbled on one of the rice balls. "Man if only I wasn't such an idiot." A faint smile spread on my face as I started rolling the rice balls around the bento box with my chopsticks. I sneezed to the side making sure to not splatter my lunch with germs and walked out my appetite spoiled, my stomach churning as if it wanted to spew the couple of bites I took out of my throat, my heart drenched in guilt, and my head pounding with sorrow. And not to mention the creepy puppet guy who kept harassing me so he could molest the person who tossed me into the 'blackness and sorrow' of my soul. Or some creepy shit like that.

"You know we have school, right?" I asked the robe clad guy who was mumbling curses with a spazzing cat puppet on his hand. I think his name was Nekozowa or something along those lines. He was strolling around the rose maze with me a sadistic grin on his face as he trailed after me keeping in the shadows.

"_It's okay the school shall forget of me momentarily while I recite the 'Guilt ridden of Death' spell on you. Fufufufu~_" Neko-senpai cackled rubbing the puppet's hands together. I deadpanned and walked ahead.

"That's nice of you Neko-senpai," I sighed leaning against a rose-bush. He chuckled darkly. Was it just me or does this kid remind me of like a little kid who thinks he some sort of cool ass demon? I mean he's not a little kid, but he's pretty geeky. Maybe he's an intense cosplayer...what anime is this lunatic cosplaying as? I curiously yanked his hood down his blue eyes shimmering in horror and his blonde hair peeking out. He let out a shrill scream and ran away cursing the sunlight. Great I scare away everyone, but hey he was kind of hot...

"God I just want to die here," I muttered crawling underneath one of the canopies and laid down there not really giving a shit that this wasn't considered lady-like. _"I swear you think you're so smarter than me sometimes, but you're the dumbass who still sleeps with a stuffed animal!" "YOU'RE THE WORST!" "What do you want you little fucking whore." _Okay I may have added some stuff in the last one, but he so meant it.

An unintelligible grumble came from my side. "I wouldn't mind if you did commoner. _Dumb Kaoru, and Haruhi making me look for her with them and then out of my luck I run into the filthy commoner._" Hikaru? What was this ass doing here. I gazed at him still in my little pity party.

"Hikaru you came to save me?!" I squealed my backpack pooled by my head as I leapt up and hugged the irritated twin. His face flushed with anger as he tried to pry me off.

"No I was forced here. L-Let go of me you commoner!" The said boy grimaced shoving me off. Ouch harsh. Whatever at least I could now live happily...and the guilt was still eating the hell out of me.

I hesitantly let out a nervous sneeze. Seriously, WHY DID MOTHER NATURE DECIDE TO BURRY US IN A BLIZZARD? "Hey Hikaru...I'm sorry I just kind of said it without thinking and like...I don't know you well enough to say that..." And boom there goes my awesome ego.

Hikaru smirked haughtily. "So you just admitted you don't think before you speak commoner. I always knew you don't-"

"NO WHAT?! YOU JACKASS THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN I TAKE MY APOLOGY BACK!"


End file.
